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A slight, muffled laugh escaped from his parted lips. The black, long sleeved jacket he wore much too big on him. A grasp on life, he said, a slight preoccupancy that would only last but a millisecond. He held the knife to his cell partner’s throat, smiling, wolf-like fangs glistening, somehow, in the darkest of corners.
“Scream,” the boy ordered.
The man gulped, not being able to emit any type of noise.
“I said scream,” he yelled, pushing the cellmate against the other wall with much too strong a force for a 13 year old, “Dang it, scream like your life depended on it! It does!”
The man’s face cringed as the knife carved a slight circle in the back of his neck. Suddenly, a bloody scream launched out his mouth as the knife stabbed through the back of the man’s neck. The boy smiled as footsteps were heard in the distance.
“Finally…” he mumbled standing at the bars, looking for someone he could use.
A soldier, about 23, came up first, armed and ready, he was a bit hesitant, since the killer was a 13 year old, but it was expected, of course. The boy smiled, suddenly, the soldier felt his body stiffen. Without wanting, he readied the gun, turning to face his partners, aiming at one of them unwillingly.
The man being aimed at immediately looked at the boy, “Cody Miller,” he said at once, "Shoot.”
The boy just smiled as the shots went to and fro, watching as some stiffened, shooting unwillingly while others fell bloodied to the ground. Finally, when the last five were standing, the ones that had shot their partners, Cody looked at the lock, suddenly, one of the men went and unlocked it, letting loose Cody Miller, the killer. Cody smiled, looking up at the remaining soldiers.
“Please don’t kill me…” one of them said, tears caressing his face, “I have a 13 year old girl and a wife that’s here.”
Cody grinned, suddenly shooting a glance at the man. A slicing sound cut through the desperate silence, a clinging sword sound, and the man’s chest was sliced open, blood gushing violently out of it. The man fell, thumping, to the cold cell floor, Cody smiling in the exact same place as before.
“No! Arthur!”
Another scream and yet another person was killed, it was a woman. Their tags fell beside them, bloodied and stained. Cody picked them both up and read them with a sly smile.
“Arthur and Alison Gray…” he chuckled, “Found your wife.”
Turning his head to the others, he grinned, his wolf-like teeth intimidating, “Who’s next?”

Views: 37

Comment by Ale Mahogany on November 30, 2009 at 3:52pm
^^
It looks good. The only thing is that i think (therefore, i'm just not sure) that there are some grammar mistakes.
Other than that, the plot looks disturbing, yet promising!
=S
On a tip note: me as a reader find Cody Miller's behavior should be explained. So, if this is a book, you should think about explaining it through out the book. He could either had a painful childhood, or is going through some psychological disorder!
Twists are always welcomed by any reader!

Keep up the good work.
=D
Comment by Alex Davis on November 30, 2009 at 4:31pm
Haha, thanks! I was thimking about giving him a really bad childhood :)
Yup, I'm horrible at the grammer stuff, i just need to keep writing see if I get better :D
Comment by scribbler on December 2, 2009 at 8:18pm
Hey Alex you should check out the call for submissions for Night to Dawn posted in the Fantasy, Horror and Science Fiction group. Nice job! :)
Comment by Alex Davis on December 3, 2009 at 12:46pm
Thanks! I was actually making a vampire one for it, I'm trying to make it really...gory and scary, so yeah :D
Thanks!

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