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I mentioned in my first post for Authors.com that by far the most hits I received during the past year were for articles I had written that pertained to finding a book agent. But there also was substantial interest in what I wrote regarding Showing versus Telling, so I have combined two articles for this post.

Also, if anyone has any comments on anything I post, please let me know. I have wide shoulders, and if you don't agree or understand where I'm coming from, please tell me. And I can think of nothing more fun (sic, controversial) to discuss that Showing versus Telling. So here are the combined articles, and I hope you enjoy them.

Showing vs. Telling

Here is the same scene written both ways. The first is Telling the reader what has occurred; the second is Showing what is happening. The difference is obvious, but it is not to say that it is always best to Show rather than Tell, only that in the overwhelming number of instances it is preferable.

What separates writers is the ability to recognize when to utilize which technique. A suggestion is to always write the scene in a Show format, knowing that you can always change to the Tell medium if you wish to provide readers with a chance to catch their breath.

The last statement should also explain the main flaw with Telling, since Telling inherently retards the pace of the scene, while Showing forces writing in an active voice, which compliments pacing. The more times "had been," and "have been" can be eliminated are huge plusses for most narratives.

Telling the Action

Jack was having a tough time with life. Everything he was doing lately had seemed to turn out wrong. Even the simplest aspects of his daily activities had begun to take their toll. Look at what happened when he got out of bed in the morning. He had stumbled around, as if in a blue funk. He'd been hurt when he'd fallen against his dresser and pulled it over while he was trying to right himself. He didn't care who might have heard him throwing the unit against the wall or the damage it might have caused. And after he'd made his way into the bathroom and begun to prepare himself for another day, he wasn't sure if it was worth it.

Showing the Action

Like life itself, Jack could not find his balance. He fell against the chest of drawers and caught himself before falling backward and pulling the unit with him. A drawer flew open and hit him in the side, and he and it collapsed onto the bed like two clumsy lovers. He threw off the dresser and let it bang hard against the wall, cracking the plaster, and not concerned that the noise and vibration might have startled the newborn child in the apartment below. He weaved his way to the bathroom, and as he stared in the mirror and ran the water, not caring if it were hot or cold, he took out his razor. He didn't lather his face, but kept glaring at what he saw--and wondered.

Not that this is even serviceable writing, but it does identify the difference between Telling and Showing. And which would you rather read? However, Showing the action is not always the answer.

Sometimes Telling is More Effective than Showing

An author and scholar for whom I have immense respect added fuel to a long simmering fire by stating in a recent book of hers on writing that too much is made out of Showing instead of Telling. To paraphrase one of her points, she writes that the avoidance of telling leads to confusion which causes novice writers to think everything should be acted out. And to quote her, "There are many occasions in literature in which telling is far more effective than showing."

Agents and Editors are the Harshest of Critics

If everyone wrote as well as this woman (she has over two dozen titles to her credit), or the brilliant mostly classical authors and their literary works she cites in her book, who could argue? And that is the rub. Especially for someone trying to become published for the first time, and who is having his or her manuscript viewed by the harshest of critics--book agents and book editors. People who are seemingly searching, as if with an electron microscope, for the most minuscule detail to warrant rejecting material.

Don't Wave a Red Flag - Avoid the Dreaded "Been's"

In the real world of an author fighting tooth-and-nail for his or her manuscript to receive a fair hearing, the writer has to provide a narrative that does not wave a red flag--or even a yellow one. Nothing can kill a book quicker than if it is perceived to be written in a passive voice, which is most often indicative of scenes crafted in a Telling rather than Showing form. Other than breaking up too many uses of "was" or "were" by substituting an occasional "had been" or "have been," it is important to avoid the "been's" and therefore the passive voice narratives that Telling has a tendency to engender.

If a Choice, Overwrite Show Rather Than Tell

While it is 100% correct that many times it is advisable to Tell instead of Show, for most authors pursuing a major royalty publisher, it is much better to have overwritten Show than Tell. Let me put it this way: I've never heard of anyone being rejected for the former, but very often for the latter. So while the ongoing Show versus Tell debate may whet some appetites for eschewing the argument altogether, writers need to incorporate as many accepted elements as possible into their material, and Showing (and the active voice is supports) is considered a component of quality prose writing in the overwhelming number of instances.

Views: 22

Comment by Stephen Gray on January 17, 2010 at 7:31am
A pleasure to read your observations,on what constitutes a story. Could you make some comments on the value of the flash back, in transition bringing the past to the present,there by avoiding the telling,and initiate the showing.
Comment by Robert L. Bacon on January 17, 2010 at 6:35pm
Hi Stephen,

It's important to recognize that what is Shown or what is considered Told often relates to what has preceded or succeeded that point in the narrative. Consequently, something is not automatically being Shown if it's in backstory (sic, flashback).

To explain this via an example, if whenever a particular character heard a loud noise he fell to the ground because he was the victim of a severe battle syndrome he suffered as a result of his action in the Gulf War, this would be Telling the action. If on the other hand the author chose to show the character in a battle scene in Tikrit, then it would be Showing (at least related to that aspect of the overall scenario).

Yet this begs the question: In this instance would it be necessary to Show a graphic battle scene--since the reader already knows about the character's unusual behavior--and would it be more than adequate to Tell the reader via a short insert, still as backstory, that the individual had been in numerous fire fights on the streets of one of he worst hell zones in the entire war zone? In this example it would likely be better to Show the action via a battle scene, but, again, what is written should be dictated by what the reader already knows about the character.

To the other element of your question, in my opinion there is no better way to transition material, should exposition be necessary to add body to a character or a scene, than via backstory. If utilized correctly, backstory is a perfect vehicle to flesh out story elements. And for this reason it shouldn't be eschewed, regardless of whether it's being used to Tell or Show a scene. But backstory must be deftly placed and generally used sparingly unless someone is planning on writing like William Styron did with THE CONFESSIONS OF NAT TURNER, which is all backstory.

Stephen, I hope this helps and makes sense.
Comment by Philip Nork on January 18, 2010 at 5:07am
Great article. I was told the same thing after I sent my manuscript to my editor. At first it was hard for me to write in that manner, but after working with him and re-writing my entire manuscript, I now find that it is actually easier to do than telling a story. Looking forward to more insights from you!

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