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I was asked by my partner to write a goodbye poem for his mother when she died, last year, I would be interested in getting some opinions from you all, if you have time, I have been writing since I was 12 and have just finished my second childrens book, but poetry is always close to my heart, so if you don't mind, honest opinions only.



I can’t believe we are here to say goodbye

I can’t believe the way we'll cry

I can’t believe our mother has gone

But I know through us, her love, will live on.

 

It seems only yesterday, she was wiping our noses

Or out with the girls, picking flower posies

Endlessly she strived, to teach right from wrong,

I still can’t believe, our mother is gone.


It was our honour and privilege, to know you so well

On memories of the past, we will all tend to dwell

The whole of our hearts, will ache for you

And we know, the grandchildren will feel it too


We took for granted ,the love you gave

We took for granted, the smile and the wave

We took for granted ,that you would always be there

But now we hand you over, to God’s good care.


So up to heaven we know you have gone

With a song and a prayer, we know you live on

No more pain and tears, will you have to bear

Only angels and peace,  you will find there


From our beloved father Harold, we ask only of this,

Once in a while, give her a hug and a kiss

From all the family and friends left behind

Out of sight, but never of mind

We love you mum



Thank you  

Views: 18

Replies to This Discussion

My mother died last year too Donna. It's very bittersweet and full of love and tears. Thanks for sharing a most intimate portrayal of your mum...
Thank you David, I appreciate your comments,

David McDonald said:
A very beautiful piece full of emotion, tinged with grief but a pride underlining every word. I am honoured to been able to share this with you

thank you, It is always nice to hear other's opinions, good and bad, it makes me work harder, lol



Rege Schilken said:

What a nice tribute to "Mum."

regis schilken

Hello Shira, it was not my mother who passed but my partner's mum, I am sorry for your loss, it is always hard losing a parent. thank you for your comment

Shira Loustaunau said:
My mother died last year too Donna. It's very bittersweet and full of love and tears. Thanks for sharing a most intimate portrayal of your mum...
Nice poem! I don't know if I like the second sentence where it says the (way we'll cry). I would take out (we'll) and use (we). Thur making it in the now. The tense of that sentence does work for me. But nice poem.

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