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So begin the cycle of me having children, and my mother taking them in and taking care of them until they themselves were almost teens. I believed she felt guilty for keeping me from saying anything about my trauma, so she took on the responsibility of my four children. Looking back, whatever her motives, I appreciate her for that. My life was too much of a mess, barely taking care of myself, let alone my children. Four tries later, it still didn’t work. My life was still in shambles, I kept hurting others, and I still felt unloved and unwanted.

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