Fears

You know what really scares me

Still now at the age of forty one

Is being all alone and unable to see

There’snowhere leftto go, nowhere left to run

You know what I am afraid to feel

Is sickness, or any form of pain

Aging is a process, a part of the deal

But what if the first to go is my memory, my brain

You know what I don’t want to lose

The chance to amend many a wrong

To die without sharing, thoughts I’ve used

To share regret, to honestly be strong

You know what I worry about

Never knowing what it’s like to live clean

Even for one week, without any doubt

Willing with the desire, as part of their team

You know what I don’t want to have to do

Is stand in mourning over someone I care

To have to accept the loss of more than a few

More death seen to early, or tragically unfair

You know what I can’t handle not seeing

My own little dream, and I’m running out of time

To give my heart, which belongs to all their being

And show them as always, they have been truly mine

You know what I was shown Thursday

How true loss really and deeply feels

To cry so hard breathing hardly could I keep

Where denial is the only way to deal

Fears, part of the deal, so I am learning