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                      Etched in my mind
                    Time 11:05,never thought I'd cry
                  Why must it end, all we'v been through
                Bus will arrive soon,
              Life will die a little soon
          Time slows, every second watched go
      No!!you must not leave me, we were free                                                                                                                            Enjoyed being able to see
       Warmth We be, dissipates at a rapid rate
        Looking straight, I see your back to me
           Last glimps of freedom, tear filled with US                                                                                                          Touches every inch,like a million punches

                       Where is this dam bus

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Replies to This Discussion

Nicepoem.  A little different but I enoyed reading it.

Thx, yeah im experimenting with a couple different styles. Thx for your input, will have more because I write a lot, only post a few per day though.

This is a very emotional write. I can feel that pain that one feels when someone you love walks away. It is a good write. Thanks for sharing this with us.

I can hear the pain. I know this was hard to write, even if it came easy. Third line perhaps put in (after) all we been through. And the seventh sentence down, I would take out (me). Again, very heartfelt piece...

@robert, Thanks again, yes this was very hard to write, and still remember that day vividly. Strange how it seemed so slow,with everything else faded out except us. Thanks for the advice, think I will change it. Hopefully I will be publishing my first book soon, so everybody look out,need as much support as possible. Thanks!

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