Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers

So I'm getting pretty close to bringing Missing to an end, and unfortunately I feel I could have done a far better job at writing it this time around. I did really like the direction it took this time, but there's quite a few scenes that I feel don't really fit amongst the rest and I want to fix them, make them belong, but I don't
know how to do that.

The first scene, as well, really bothers me. I know I'm supposed to make the first paragraph or page reach out and grab you in a way that you want to continue reading, and I don't feel I've done that. Maybe the prologue does, but Chapter 1; Scene 1 through to Scene 3, nothing interesting really happens that would make you interested in reading the story. Usually I would spend some time introducing the character that spends most of the time in the spotlight, but sometimes I put a little too much into that.

Thick clouds floated lazily across the sky above Berlin Heights, threatening the small town with rain as they passed. The town wasn't blessed with rain very often, being nestled at
the foot of Mount Torus. Light showers, that only lasted minutes, was
all the precipitation they received, which came once a month at best.
Even during the winter season, the town only saw a few centimetres of
snow. The ground was cast into darkness as the clouds drifted in front
of the sun.. Cars filled the streets and pedestrians moved busily about
their business, paying no attention to the clouds that regularly filled
their sky. A black Mercedes Benz S550 sat idling on the side of the
street outside Berlin Heights Public School, a young woman sat on the
hood, golden blonde hair swaying in the breeze. She was wearing a dark
grey tank top with a black lace shirt over top and tight black jeans.
She stared into the sky, watching the clouds glide in the breeze, paying
no attention to the men staring at her. She could hear them whispering
to each other. Turning her gaze to the boys, a grin spread across her
ruby red lips and her dusty blue eyes sparkled as the sun broke through a
thin cloud. She couldn't help but laugh when the group of guys ran.
Another cloud drifted in front of the sun, casting another shadow over
the town, and the women turned her eyes to the sky once more.

I'm comparing it to some books that I have in my room, and all of them do such a good job at making me want to keep reading, and then I read mine and I don't feel that all. Maybe that's because I know what's going to happen that I don't feel intrigued. All I know is that I want to fix this now before I start working on it again and forget about it. If anyone even pays attention to these, I'd really appreciate your thoughts and comments. Read the
first paragraph of your favourite book and compare it to mine (I doubt mine will be anywhere near as impressive) and let me know what you think I could fix. Thanks.

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