Smoking

There's a rush to my brain
and my body falls inside itself
total relaxation
Even though the smell
brings back horrid memories
Its my way of letting the problems go
The smell the slight addiction
The intake of smoke filling my lungs
and the long unwanted yet needed release
a giggle that ripples through
and the silly smile that goes along
my wondrously hurtful cancer stick
How I want you yet repulsed by you
Its an addiction I can thankfully control
two per every couple months
Yet I think I might break and create a chain
I got a new pack
And I'm ready to bring those sticks to lips
Oh how I disgustedly want you