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A sad beautiful poem.  Liked the rhythm.

Like the flow of this poem. And while kinda sad, i also took another view. Which was, because at one point she was happy and smiling, one could have faith that she would find the "smile" again. And i think she probably would.

Nice poem.  However, some lines were longer than others.  I know you wanted the rhythm but the second line of each couplet could have been made a little shorter to match the first. I always have that problem too.  It's a good poem.  I think your poems are lovely.

Thank you for your comment, Jonathon, and I think you're right about her finding her smile again.   =)

  

I'd love it if you signed up to follow my poetry blog as I check it more frequently and always appreciate comments.

http://ferrells-follies.blogspot.com/

Jonathon Koerner said:

Like the flow of this poem. And while kinda sad, i also took another view. Which was, because at one point she was happy and smiling, one could have faith that she would find the "smile" again. And i think she probably would.

Hi Birgitta,

I appreciate your feedback and always take people's comments into consideration when revising my poetry.  Did you, by chance, leave additional comments on my blog?  Someone left a few more suggestions there, and I thought it might be you.   =)

Please sign-up to follow my poetry.  I always enjoy reading constructive comments.

http://ferrells-follies.blogspot.com/


Birgitta Abimbola Heikka said:

Nice poem.  However, some lines were longer than others.  I know you wanted the rhythm but the second line of each couplet could have been made a little shorter to match the first. I always have that problem too.  It's a good poem.  I think your poems are lovely.

I like your poem, a bit dark, maybe  you were feeling dark?   It is good.

After one year of sharing verse on my blog, Ferrell's Follies, this poem remains a favorite of friends and followers, and that puts a smile on my face!

In the new book "Glossy Eyes Be Frail" there is a long  almost epic poem in there called "To Envy A Smile" and it is about finding a lost smile as well check it out here: Glossy eyes be frail

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