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I hope I'm within the guidlines! XD Please tell me nicely if I'm not! (Monster in me)

 

Monster in me

I hate my face

Take me to a different place

Please God, please

I wish I were never born

I feel like a thorn

In the sides of all I love

Or am I their glove

To be used

And abused

I hate this place

Where all eyes hate

What will be my fate?

All I see

Is the monster in me

All I see is someone who should die

But all I do is cry

Please God, please

Rid this world of me

And all that I have done

Will I never have a son,

Or can men see through my mask?

This is all I ask

Please God, please

If I’m not meant for life

Please take my strife

And have me never wake tomorrow

I hate all this sorrow

I wish I were dead

But all I am is in my bed

Sleeping safe while I dream

Of being more than I am

I wish I were more like Sam

My best friend, my sister of the soul

I wish I were in a h***

Where I could never hurt anyone again

I hate my words

It’s like I’m tripping on cords

I never say the right thing

Nor can I sing

I hate myself

And everyone around me

And yet I love them, can’t they see

That all I want is happiness

No more crappiness?

I love the girl I try to be

But she isn’t me

And I can never be her

I wish I could, but I can’t

And as I pant

Trying to keep the darkness inside

All I can do is hide

From all whom I love

And shove

Them into the light

And out of my sight

But why do they think the light is from me?

Why can’t they see

The monster inside me?

I hate that creature called Sonja

She hates me also

And won’t go!

Maybe I should be her

Let her kill me

But she’d better be sure

To let me be

After I’m gone

And let me dream

Of the good I’ve done

Not the bad that it seems

To be

In my daydreams so eschew

Let my life be new

please God, please

look after this monster inside of me.

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Replies to This Discussion

Wow!

Your first person in this piece has some seriously unresolved and very interesting issues, which are incapsulated nicely here, Pink! The writing is very good, very clever. I wonder; have you worked with this first person, Sonja, as character in a narrative fiction setting before? My suggestion is that you give that a try, if you haven't. There seems to me to be a very strong story underneath the poetry here, in my humble estimation. Try working with it. You might end up surprised.
Good stuff!
My Best,
M.
Thanks Mark! XD Wow, I had no idea it was that good, I mean, I thought it was OK, but most people who read it think that Sonja's TOO depressed to make it a good poem. I'm so glad that you like it, and no I haven't, but that's a very good idea! :D Thanks! And thank you so much for reading it! :3

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