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HELLO AND GOOD DAY! Betty is back once again! lol kinda . well ill be poppin in and out of authors.com . Missed you all so incredibly much. I wrote this poem recently to avoid  mental tormant. I figured i would base it upon a future novel of mine. perhaps told by the victims eyes? idk, tell e what you think and if you have any ideas LET ME KNOW!!! :) Love you all  gotta go. TA TA!

LUGUBRIOUS

Watch the body writhe 
you see the life depart thy eyes? 

Watch the screams impact the air 
the voice's las verbal attempt to share 

Watch as the heart sounds it's final beat 
the carcass becoming rotting meat 

Watch it's soul depart our world 
It's innocent spirit captured beautifully as it unfurled 

Watch the motionless corpse sits rather still

Do you remember it's last cry for help? as it was hoarse and shrill?

Watch as time passes by 
maltreated in solitude, the corpse with no name will be forced to lie 

Watch as corrupted nature finds a way 
the skin desiccating and the organs crumbling by each vile day 

Watch the fumes of decease rise

all due to the wretchedness of such demise. 

Watch as all that remains is crusted bones 
still clothed with the attire of the soul it once owned 

Watch it decompose into grains of earth 
such hollow unavenged corruption only bringing satan mirth 

Watch as the memory of such be forgotten 
only for the murderer distance away to mock them 

Watch his vile malicious smile stretch his lips smug 
confident, because only HE knows where he had dug.

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Great couplets, with good rhyme and powerful imagery. It reads like an Epitaph...for the victim of the story...possibly another idea for your story. All the best and I hope this is useful for you:)

Thank you! :) i am assembaling a book idea as we speak lol thank you for your comment

Warren Brown said:

Great couplets, with good rhyme and powerful imagery. It reads like an Epitaph...for the victim of the story...possibly another idea for your story. All the best and I hope this is useful for you:)

this is beautiful.......i love it

Hi Betty, long time no see. You of all people should remember that Poetry should be posted in the Poetry section of the Groups, not on the Forum. ;) You'll get much more feedback that way as each Group member is notified of your post.

Repost it there please and let me know when you have via pm so I can take this one down. I'm closing this for comments so new ones will be added in the right place on your new post in the right section.

 

Very nice to see you kiddo. Don't stay away so long next time. :)

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