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If I feel weakened, annoyed, disturbed or in any way distressed by a thought about another person, it is not the other person who needs to change, it is me. I needed to change the way I thought by dropping the negative thought, for nothing good came out of it. How I think of another person is how I affected my thinking. These thoughts become feelings. Human nature tends to go with our flesh and feelings more than logical thinking. As we go with our feelings it seems good to release anger and pain onto a person who has hurt you. It gives you a feeling of a moment of satisfaction but this action trains your heart to feed your thoughts. So if your heart is full of pain and resentment a day, a year, a wasted lifetime. Imagine what your soul feels daily.

As I think back even at this moment that I let my soul fade. I went on feelings my whole life and felt everything but how my soul felt. I’m the one who was harming me. My true self! Well that just made me mad as Hell! I can share my two cents with the world with ease but I allow my own soul to fade? Jesus said okay here is a parable for you. Shannon, it’s like when you fly in an airplane. They tell you to put that oxygen mask on first before your spouse or your child. Because what good are you or what kind of help can you give if you are gasping for air? Eventually there will be a blow that will knock the wind out of you. Then what? Restore yourself daily. See Jesus knows me better than I know myself. I get wrapped up in the drama of the world. That I internalize the whys and why not’s. Not because it’s something to gain to help but as Jesus restored me from I will hurt you before you hurt me attitude. I was having compassion and an inner struggle to get my heart lined up with my soul. There wasn't a balance.

It's been said that human nature is inherently good and others believe that human nature is inherently evil and self-centered. There is some truth to both of these views. The reality is that our human nature is Judging others is one of the greatest mistake I ever made. It wasted my time. It hurt me and it hurt others. It is not my job to be the judge. I am a terrible judge. As I studied People we just want to be accepted, forgiven and loved. Not picked apart and judged inherently "multi-natured". As we Attempt to appeal to everyone in the end, cause us to appeal to no one. It also makes us lose ourselves in something we are not.

Life is full of joy and beauty if we learn to play with the wind. Adjust your sails but know who is in control. Through our own direct experience Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also smother you in the cocoon you made for yourself. You have to love~ You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself except the bitter sweet of life.If it turned out things were more sour than sweet. Know we might not be much but all is well with my soul. So as we practice these mental disciplines. You will find it will benefit you far more than living a life resenting the people that have wronged us.

So don't confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes.
It’s ok; we all make them. One of the hardest things we can do is not forgiving others. It’s forgiving ourselves ! Learn from them so they can empower you! It's easier said then done I know! but instead of wasting life on others . Waste your life on your soul. It will be time worth while!
Be not forgetful of prayer. Every time you pray, if your prayer is sincere, there will be new feeling and new meaning in it, which will give you the fresh air you deserve. and you will understand that prayer is a link from your soul to Gods… I ask myself would I be like David in Psalm 36 and beg God to search my soul for any wrong doing or sin? That would be a hesitated NO! We can only desire the truth in our inter most heart or soul. So accept that we are Human Souls and just be BOLD!!~~Shannon

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