Hi erma, I'm not sure why your posts would disappear. I've reported it on your behalf to Authors.com. You can do so with any issue by using the Report An Issue link at the very bottom of every page.It's at the bottom right. I'm seeing your post just fine.
Please try again and see if it's still happening. Are you sure you're not simply overlooking it? When a comment is made, the box empties and you need to scroll down to see the comments underneath the box. The only time it shouldn't display right away is if the member has chosen to moderate comments before making them public in their Settings.
In answer to your question of what's wrong with the scene: there are spelling mistakes, mixed tenses, plus punctuation and grammatical errors. It doesn't flow.
Welcome, it is so nice to have you here among other Authors. Have you finished your next book, and what is it about? I write self-help guide books and will have my first 2 books published soon(my first book will be re-published) I have finished my third book, and now working on my forth, I will have 6 series in all. if you would like to learn more about me and my books you can visit my website www.wix.com/LisaBrereton/itswheretheheartis then just click on my blog. I would love to learn more about what you write Please stay in touch
Here is my re-write with the hopes it may be interesting to you:
Liza fell off her saddle hitting the defrosting ground with a loud thump. She Rolled until she hit the stack of rocks that would protect her from the bullets.
Gunshots were peppering the ground and the tall saw grass that waved in the afternoon breeze was her only protection. She grimaced in pain as her hand brushed her side. She looked down at her palm it was bloody. She wanted curse like the cowboys did when they were shot, but what good would it do in this fight for her life?
The sound of her horse disappearing over the hill wanting safety from the noisy gunfire that continued to hit the ground near Liza. Liza crawled through the grass near sagebrush, trying hard not to make anything move and give away where she was.
No comments yet!
You need to be a member of Authors.com to add comments!
Authors.com
Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers
Erma jane Young's Comments
Comment Wall (6 comments)
Hi erma, I'm not sure why your posts would disappear. I've reported it on your behalf to Authors.com. You can do so with any issue by using the Report An Issue link at the very bottom of every page.It's at the bottom right. I'm seeing your post just fine.
Please try again and see if it's still happening. Are you sure you're not simply overlooking it? When a comment is made, the box empties and you need to scroll down to see the comments underneath the box. The only time it shouldn't display right away is if the member has chosen to moderate comments before making them public in their Settings.
Hi Erma,
Welcome, it is so nice to have you here among other Authors. Have you finished your next book, and what is it about? I write self-help guide books and will have my first 2 books published soon(my first book will be re-published) I have finished my third book, and now working on my forth, I will have 6 series in all. if you would like to learn more about me and my books you can visit my website www.wix.com/LisaBrereton/itswheretheheartis then just click on my blog. I would love to learn more about what you write Please stay in touch
Lisa
Here is my re-write with the hopes it may be interesting to you:
Liza fell off her saddle hitting the defrosting ground with a loud thump. She Rolled until she hit the stack of rocks that would protect her from the bullets.
Gunshots were peppering the ground and the tall saw grass that waved in the afternoon breeze was her only protection. She grimaced in pain as her hand brushed her side. She looked down at her palm it was bloody. She wanted curse like the cowboys did when they were shot, but what good would it do in this fight for her life?
The sound of her horse disappearing over the hill wanting safety from the noisy gunfire that continued to hit the ground near Liza. Liza crawled through the grass near sagebrush, trying hard not to make anything move and give away where she was.
You need to be a member of Authors.com to add comments!
Join Authors.com
Sign Up
or Sign In
Sponsored Links
Most Active Members
1. Edward F. T. Charfauros
San Diego, CA, United States
2. RF Husnik
Green Bay, WI, United States
3. Rosemary Morris
Watford, United Kingdom
Publishers Weekly
Q & A with Stacey Lee
Earth Day 2024: Q&As with Children's Authors Centering Environmental Conservation
Q & A with Pan Cooke
Four Questions for Ann Zhao
Beyond the Book: Carina Maggar's 'Countless Sleepless Nights'
NPR Books
Salman Rushdie tells of the violent attack that nearly killed him in memoir 'Knife'
'When I Think of You' could be a ripped-from-the-headlines Hollywood romance
What happened when the threat of danger became Salman Rushdie's reality?
Author Salman Rushdie On Surviving Attack and The Value of Every Day of Life
Death doula says life is more meaningful if you 'get real' about the end
NY Times Book Reviews
Poetry Review: ‘The Sorrow Apartments,’ by Andrea Cohen
A Stunning Visual Celebration of Black Rodeo
Books Bound in Human Skin: An Ethical Quandary at the Library
Book Review: ‘Four Shots in the Night,’ by Henry Hemming; ‘Tripped,’ by Norman Ohler; ‘Hell Put to Shame,’ by Earl Swift
Book Review: “An Encyclopedia of Gardening for Colored Children: An Alphabetary of the Colonized World,” by Jamaica Kincaid and Kara Walker
Lord Byron Died 200 Years Ago. He’s Still Worth Reading.
Keith Haring’s Legacy Is at the Mall, Not the Museum
9 New Books We Recommend This Week
Jorie Graham’s Poetry of the Earth and Humanity, Set to Music
Sophie Kinsella, ‘Shopaholic’ Author,’ Says She Has Brain Cancer
© 2024 Created by Authors.com. Powered by
Badges | Report an Issue | Terms of Service