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On this October Tuesday, the day dawned cloudy, with a cool mist washing my face. The moisture mixed in with the tears forming as I reached down and gently picked up Spice, a Lapso Apso mix-breed small dog, from the bed and carried her to my car and laid her softly on the back seat.
She is fragile.
The growth mass on her back is increasing in size and is slowly draining blood and the life force from her body. This year, 2013, was the fifth since I adopted Spice from PAWS an excellent animal rescue shelter in the Atlanta area.
Today was time to take Spice to the vet on Lawrenceville Highway in Snellville, Georgia. “Spice and Me” love to ride in the car, but this time she wasn’t poking her head out the window, but lying on the back seat with a blanket covering her body.
Once at the animal hospital, the Vet carried Spice into the hospital-like room and, what seemed like eternity, she returned with a syringe filled with Spice’s blood drawn from the mass on her back.
There was an awkward pause as she said the possibility the growth on Spice’s back was a malignant tumor. The blood work would confirm the doctor’s analysis. The Vet has excellent bed-side manners and delivers the news with respect, concern and love for “Spice and Me”.
Spice is dying!
It could be three months or three years---in other words she will be in hospice care in our home until it comes time to make the “Decision”. That means to put her to sleep when she can no longer respond or life is zapped from her body. When I heard the word, I felt as if someone had punched me in my stomach. The dreaded “C” word sent chills up and down my back. I recently watched a television special on a cable station about how there is a rise in cancer in animals.
Now, cancer was not only at my front door but in my home.
I cried deep inside my soul for a relationship for “Spice and Me” that would last a long time.
My sister, Rochelle, cried out loud.
Until that dreaded “Decision” moment in time, we will fill Spice’s life with anything and everything she desires. This shocking moment frees us to love her, feed her as many treats and whatever she wants to eat or drink. Spice loves to ride in the car and look out the open car window with the wind blowing in her face. I will take her for special car rides and walks in the park. I may even sneak a trip to the McDonald’s drive through to get a hamburger for Spice (smile).
Now, I enjoy her company as she sleeps on the bed, or lay next to me, on a blanket, as I write my novels on the computer.
Spice has a personality that reminds me of the Divas from one of those reality cable television shows like House Wives of Atlanta. Sometimes she will give you an almost human look when you try to make her do something she doesn’t want to do at that particular moment. That look is priceless, almost as if she is thinking “Leave a message”. In other words, Spice will ignore you in her “Diva” way.
I will not only enjoy these precious moments, but live the moments and not live in the past or live in an uncertain future. I will live and breathe this present moment in time that is filled with love and caring, and even a hope for Spice that she might recover. I pray everyday for her recovery.
` People, who are not pet lovers, don’t understand the bond that develops as you and your pet’s personality mesh. It is a special love.
Now, each day is special.
As I look into those big pretty eyes I see unconditional love.