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introvert-study » by Robert___T)


« The Chrome Lake » is the core middle part of the « Entering The Stream » trilogy. Lasting a little over 12 minutes, the composition depicts an episode of intense soul-searching, and comprises seven sections identified as follows :

  1. Introversion
  2. Intervention
  3. Introspection I
  4. Introspectrumental I
  5. Introspection II
  6. Introspectrumental II
  7. Integration

The suite begins with two instrumental sections that will probably be two of the hardest bits of Poligrafic music to play live, as they are very demanding in terms of accuracy, and also in endurance as far as the drummer and keyboardist are concerned. Surely, the synth solo in « Introversion » will have to be simplified if I’m playing it. Speaking of solos, there's also a guitar solo that's missing (at 1:42), but I'm confident Miguel will come up with something interesting.

« Introversion » includes one of my favorite passages of the entire poligrafic repertoire, « A Break In The Clouds, » which begins at 2:12 and features a melody played on clarinet supported by a reprise of the introduction's theme executed on the piano.

« Intervention » is the short movement near the end of the clip wherein saxophone and clarinet dialogue over a repetitive piano motif.

To accompany the music and its odd meters (and assuming I understood the nomenclature correctly), here's a trisyllabic pentametric poetic portrait of the introvert :

it's not that i have it all my way
safe to say i do not
it's not that i keep people at bay
or let relations rot
it's not that i don't have much to say
i just don't say a lot

i do not smile that much why would i
i see few reasons to
half the things reflecting in my eye
disgust me from the view
half the world down playing one big lie
do not expect me to

don't suppose that my mind's in a fuzz
if i'm out of fashion
don't mean me disrespect just because
i don't crave attention
don't think it doesn't hurt when it does
i'm no automaton

i don't mix with the crowd i'm no nerd
i just do not belong
it's not that i'm too proud for the herd
we just don't get along
my attempts to connect backfired
now i sing my own song

when comes my chance to meet i suspect
i do not open up
when comes my chance to thrive i deflect
i do not take it up
when comes my chance to shine i reflect
and i do not speak up

it's not that i can't bear to tell you
i would if i had to
it's not what i don't dare to go through
i would but not for you
it's not that i don't care i would too
just show me one who's true

you can't see what's in me but don't think
there's not much to be seen
it's true i often find that things stink
don't think that i am mean
say won't you help me out if i sink
i can't control this spleen

though most days are stormy there's color
complementing the grey
though inside me it's mostly pallor
some hues allay dismay
for a break in the clouds my candor
i sometimes do betray

when i guess i am odd i don't know
i'm at odds with myself
when i suppose i'm wrong i don't know
i am wronging myself
when i think i'm unloved i don't know
i'm not loving myself

every day i carry my burden
out of these abysses
and i find as anguish does lessen
the more fortune kisses
still inside it is no rose garden
i make no promises

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