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Yesterday evening we stopped at a service station, got out of the pickup to go inside. Screaming... happy screaming filled the air behind us! We turned to look, saw a huge ferris wheel going 'round and 'round. The happy screams were coming from there! Skip and I turned to look at each other... for a moment we were children again. The fair! The fair's come to town! We were looking at a county fair....
We stood there to watch the different rides in motion. Happy colors were everywhere! I wanted to be part of the 'happy' at that fair! At that moment, Skip and I decided ... we are going to the fair this weekend! I felt so happy inside. Skip said that would make us feel happy, we could forget our troubles for a little while, forget we were grownups... be children again for a little while.
I can't wait to be there to see the lights, oh! the beautiful, colored lights! I love happy colors... they are a very real part of my life. As I stood there watching the rides... the colors were pulling at me ... I wanted to go 'now' to them!
We will eat hot dogs, corn on the cob. Skip will probably get a funnel cake! I will probably get an Italian sausage dog... you know, the long sausages cooked on the grill with chopped onions, bell pepper! Just pass me the mustard, please! We all have our special, favorite things we look forward to when going to the fair each year... sausage dogs are one of mine.
I want to find exotic, wild and crazy food that's different. Food that I haven't tried before... something light, happy, inviting to taste! You know, like fried milky ways, fried twinkies... something just out of the ordinary. Skip won't be trying such a thing... he likes 'normal' foods. I am the adventurous one!
I want to hear the happy music ... music that gets inside one! Music that quickens one's steps to walk... no! run to the next ride, the next exhibit to enjoy! I want to hear the vendors while they try to lure people to come spend money at their games, try their foods. I want to watch people as I stop for different moments... I want to watch their happiness, their big smiles... I want to draw that happiness inside of me. I hope to draw such happiness inside myself so, I'll never be unhappy again! It would be like the sun when it warms one's body, to their very soul.
We will walk along the edges of the crowds of people... I don't want to walk in the middle... though sometimes I will! I don't like the middle, it would be just like sleeping in the middle of the bed. I feel like I'm suffocating if I'm in the middle... afraid I might not be able to get out. I love the freedom to move about as I please.
Standing there at the service station, watching the county fair in progress... we will be there this weekend. We are going to 'practice to be ready to go to the State Fair in Raleigh' in three weeks! I know there's something unusual, special and good waiting around the corners for me there!
I'm excited now! I'm ready to go! I want to feel like a child again... forget I'm in a grown-up world where I've known so much pain, sadness in my life. I am going to forget for a short while all the grief I carry inside my heart... Maybe all that happiness will help to dilute it more, making it more bearable, weigh less as I carry it around with me. Sometimes it's so heavy that it overwhelms me.
I won't ride the rides... who knows... 'I could be tempted'. :))) I want to stand, watch parents, children as they ride. I want to 'soak in the pure happiness' they are feeling. I want to come away so full of joy that I 'slosh over'... slosh over pure happiness on other people. Happiness is ... contagious, you know!
I want to see the colors of the awnings over each booth, each exhibit. See the colorful signs advertising the biggest horse in the world, the shortest woman in the world, the biggest alligator. Come see the bears! one sign says... I can see all this in my mind! I'm excited. I'm going to the fair!
I want to visit the flower and garden show! Skip and I will walk along the magical paths to view the different creations by different people. We will decide which we like best. I love the ones where there's a door on the wall, or fence in the background, it's painted in a special color ... paths lead one to it as it winds around beautiful, colorful flowers arranged around a little fish pond, rocks... the paths pull one toward that door... to want to open it to enter a magical world!
Of course, one can't just walk through the doors! They are there to create the illusion, to invite one in to relax, walk, enjoy the flower garden. They invite one to enter a magical world, to stay a while... forget your troubles. There might be a bench to make you want to sit down for a while, close your eyes... feel the quietness though happy sounds are all around you. Do you feel the calmness as you see this in your mind? I just 'felt' it deeply. For a moment... I felt peace of mind.
I look for special things such as this... they 'speak' to me quietly in my mind. Come here, sit down a spell... feel the quietness, feel peace of mind... no, don't focus on the sounds outside this magical space, this magical moment.......... focus 'here'... yes, here. Close your eyes for a time, open them slowly... let them take in the special beauty around you that God made through the hands of people for you, everyone. You just have to make yourself to stop long enough to enjoy them.
In such a busy, exciting, wild and crazy atmosphere... there are such magical spaces for such magical moments. I look for them... I know they exist... I know I will find them. Sometimes, I don't want to leave, to let go of them... I try to carry from them all the happiness, peace of mind that I can.
Sometimes ...it's like trying to reach, take the sun gently from the sky to carry with one everywhere they go.... so, their life can be sunny all the time. If we did... could do such a thing... it wouldn't be there for the next person who needs their life to be sunny, happy. I would never take the sunshine away from someone... I would help to pull it closer to warm them, to touch their very souls with happiness.
At the State Fair, there is a big lake close by to the flower and garden show... one can walk on the wooden bridge, the winding path that weaves around rocks, flowers, trees. You might sit on one of the benches to people-watch to see the many people who look alike.... but, see how amazing it is to see so many different faces. We are so alike, but... so different! I'm always amazed.
I love to people-watch, I love to see how one puts their colors, their clothes together. I wanted to be a fashion designer as a young girl... this is the time when I can 'see my runway with models' of different sizes, from different worlds... I can see the beauty of clothes, appreciate different styles. Do you know that even the 'ugliest person' ... can be beautiful?
Have you really stopped to look at people... even the 'not prettiest person' is beautiful... somewhere. Sometimes, they have to speak for others to see it... sometimes, just a gesture or expression. No one is truly... ugly... with the exception of 'ugly-beautiful people who are truly evil people'.
There's a big fountain with a wall of wall cascading down it into the pool of water beneath it. Yes, this is at the State Fair! It's huge, beautiful... oh, to close one's eyes to listen to it. It is soothing, relaxing and one can sit down near it, feel the spray on one's face. I always want to 'carry it home with me'... Skip and I both love the sound of water!
Nearby... there's always a stage with a band playing. In my mind, I see the chairs lined up in rows where anyone who walks by... can sit to listen. I see in my mind those people as they sit there, smiles on their faces. Some people are tapping their foot to the music, some hold a lighter in the air waving it to the rhythm of the music. I have seen people who like me... can't bear not to dance to the music! :))) I don't because after all... I don't want to make a scene! I admire people who can do this... I smile as I watch them smile, do their happy, silly dances... I'm happy because I'm witnessing happiness in motion.
Talking about dancing... I love going into the tent where dancers are clogging! I love the colors of their costumes, I love watching their feet in happy rhythm! They dance this way, that way... twist and turn as they dance with their partners. I can see them now.... the women with their beautiful, wide skirts that flare out big as they turn... showing their crinoline slips underneath. The skirts could be white... their blouses could be red, their shoes black. The men also, have red shirts, white slacks, black shoes....and cowboy hats! I can hear the music in my mind now..... can't you just 'see' those happy, dancing feet?
Oh, I'm so excited! I want to go to the county fair this weekend... practice for the big State Fair. Practice happiness, abandonment, joy and excitement for the State Fair! I'm going to be a child again... I'm going to 'feel it all'.... 'for all I'm worth'..... I want to carry that happiness inside for a long time after that fair is gone!
When you go to the fair... and you happen to see a lady sitting there with the biggest smile you've ever seen... she might be eating a sausage dog as her eyes merrily dances around to watch 'everything'... she might be eating blue, pink cotton candy... it just might be me, Granny Gee!
You might say "hello Granny Gee!" I'll turn, and say "I was hoping you'd be here, too!" and I would say "would you like some of my cotton candy?" Yes, my blue and pink cotton candy on a ... paper cone! Granny Gee is for-real at the State Fair!