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A Blind Star Gazer

Dark were the nights, the clouds covered the moon
Dark were the ways, I am lost so soon.
Groping along the midnight road
Clutching on a candle along I strode...
Hello sky, let go of your clouds
I pray to you, long and loud.
 
One such night, I looked up at the sky,
And of all the stars, one did catch my eye.
The star that shines the brightest of all
The star that you stare at, full of awe...
Star-gazer, I would have never been
Had it not been for this twinkling thing.
 
So I stared at the star above me high,
Long enough to dazzle my eyes.
So what, the brightness adds to me
I learn too, to shine with glee...
Shine on star, you are the king
Radiance to our lives, you do bring.
 
But the star was a shooting star...
And one night, when the sky was dark,
And the moon was gone,
It fell from my sky,
Down into the earth,
Crashing onto my hopes,
Straight into my eyes.
 
And, that was the end.
Of me gazing at the star...
Not because the star was gone,
Not because I lost the star...
But because, every time I opened my eyes
I could only see a dark dark sky…
All around me all the while
And I realized
I have lost my sight.

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Replies to This Discussion

You've written an interesting poem but it still requires a lot more editing. IMO. There are too many words used in the whole poem. You have five verses which might have been made shorter in the editing process. And then might come your excellent last line to finish the poem.

Best wishes and have fun with your poem.

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