Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers
“You don’t think so eh?” Ares jabbed the needle in his arm and pushed down on the plunger. He left the hypodermic syringe on the table and headed for the door, murmuring last minute instructions as he ventured into the myriad of rooms looking for somewhere to rest his weary head. “Give it three or four minutes and he’s gonna be like putty in your hands
Congratulation on the soon to be published novel. Thanks for posting your excerpt here. I'm curious it is Chapter Twenty nine and more curious to know who the protagonist is. By that point in the book it should be evident. Instead the reader needs to pick at the bones to extract the details. My impression on reading your piece.
One other thing I noticed was the length of some sentences. They are far too long and the impact of shorter ones doesn't happen. It is only an opinion of mine. You need to read through line by line to gauge the cause and effect of situations. What reactions seem correct and others lacking . When the man wakes up and asks where he is you need to include an action that illustrates what has happened. When the man ran a hand across his mouth blood moistened his shirt forcing him to touch his Bottom lip. It was split. The prisoner winced at the pain. At the same time his eyes darted about taking in everything he saw in the small room.
What Waverling replies sound rather stiff. Better to say nothing.
Perhaps others might like to suggest other things about your excerpt. Mine is only base on what I've read so far and is only an opinion.
Good luck as you head towards publication and I hope your book does well.