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Hey all, and a tip of the hat to you Scribbler. I read the first lines you presented and would have to say: other than spelling and diction errors, I would read on.
That's my vote, and I'm sticking to it. :)

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Nice point of view, Mark. But...don't you think it would have been easier to just comment on Scribbler's discussion, instead of creating a whole new thread? :)
Hey Callie!
OOpps! I meant to post it to Scribbler's thread. I got distracted. :)
My best,
Mark

Callie Leah said:
Nice point of view, Mark. But...don't you think it would have been easier to just comment on Scribbler's discussion, instead of creating a whole new thread? :)
You must be a fellow multitasker, Mark. :) You know I've read that passage twice now and can't spot the spelling errors. What were you referring to there?
Hey Kay! I should have said "misspelling", to wit: Mam, vice ma'am. As to diction, I probably should of have said punctuation. Over all, however, I give it a thumbs up and want to read more. And, yes, I am a multitasker. Adult attention deficit? No. Just a head hopper, writer of fiction and poetry, I.
Stay good, clever and kind.
My best,
Mark

Kay Elizabeth said:
You must be a fellow multitasker, Mark. :) You know I've read that passage twice now and can't spot the spelling errors. What were you referring to there?
Mam=Mom
They're all out to get you, Mark! LOL. Just kidding, Cricket. :) I read Mam as Mom too.

I'll link back here to the original thread so no-one's scratching their head wondering what the heck we're all talking about! :)

http://www.authors.com/forum/topics/vote-on-opening-lines-of

Cricket said:
Mam=Mom

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