SHADOW OF A NIGHT - Authors.com2024-03-29T01:17:07Zhttp://www.authors.com/forum/topics/shadow-of-a-night?groupUrl=poetry&commentId=3798404%3AComment%3A140199&x=1&feed=yes&xn_auth=noWilliam Shakespeare said
"Not…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-06:3798404:Comment:1401992012-07-06T12:32:40.355ZCleveland W. Gibsonhttp://www.authors.com/profile/ClevelandWGibson
<p>William Shakespeare said</p>
<p>"Nothing is good or bad."</p>
<p>What makes it good or bad is how we think about it.</p>
<p>So spare a thought for poetry when more can be said</p>
<p>in a compressed way then in many lines of text. But like a</p>
<p>thousand other things clear and concise wins the day. </p>
<p>(Darkness and a candle: Detective work : if the candle</p>
<p>went out where did the light come from to see the smoke?</p>
<p>Had to be a second candle, maybe you didn't mention…</p>
<p>William Shakespeare said</p>
<p>"Nothing is good or bad."</p>
<p>What makes it good or bad is how we think about it.</p>
<p>So spare a thought for poetry when more can be said</p>
<p>in a compressed way then in many lines of text. But like a</p>
<p>thousand other things clear and concise wins the day. </p>
<p>(Darkness and a candle: Detective work : if the candle</p>
<p>went out where did the light come from to see the smoke?</p>
<p>Had to be a second candle, maybe you didn't mention it).</p>
<p>Best wishes</p>
<p>2011 poem award <a href="http://www.CELJ.org" target="_blank">www.CELJ.org</a></p> Thank you for the response gu…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-04:3798404:Comment:1390412012-07-04T22:02:41.260ZKenny Thurmanhttp://www.authors.com/profile/KennyThurman505
<p>Thank you for the response guys(: It means alot! I suppose i just am an abstract writer. I like people to think about things for a while. I think it causes a certain effect that leaves their mind going in circles for a little bit. And when i said, "<span>Darkness quickly surrounds her, for all that’s left is smoke", i was hoping that people would put it together with the second line in the first stanza. When i said there was candle light. Practically what i was trying to say is that the…</span></p>
<p>Thank you for the response guys(: It means alot! I suppose i just am an abstract writer. I like people to think about things for a while. I think it causes a certain effect that leaves their mind going in circles for a little bit. And when i said, "<span>Darkness quickly surrounds her, for all that’s left is smoke", i was hoping that people would put it together with the second line in the first stanza. When i said there was candle light. Practically what i was trying to say is that the candle went out, and all that was left was smoke. It's definitely a 'thinker' for sure.</span></p> I've read your poem and feel…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-02:3798404:Comment:1389972012-07-02T22:03:01.733ZCleveland W. Gibsonhttp://www.authors.com/profile/ClevelandWGibson
<p>I've read your poem and feel it need some clarification. I looked at your illustration and it hints at what the poem is about. But you never nail that fact in place. </p>
<p>Sometimes it is interesting and best to say things as simply as possible. Now looking closely at the structure I feel say the first four lines ought to be turned into eight lines. Do that all the way through and then check out the new look. I think you'll then be able to focus more on whom the poem is concerned with. Ask…</p>
<p>I've read your poem and feel it need some clarification. I looked at your illustration and it hints at what the poem is about. But you never nail that fact in place. </p>
<p>Sometimes it is interesting and best to say things as simply as possible. Now looking closely at the structure I feel say the first four lines ought to be turned into eight lines. Do that all the way through and then check out the new look. I think you'll then be able to focus more on whom the poem is concerned with. Ask yourself what is the conflict #1, #2 or even #3 and place them in you poem. Too much description with out a reason spoils the effect you wan to create.</p>
<p>Best wishes and good luck.</p> Good poem. Seems a little sa…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-02:3798404:Comment:1392642012-07-02T20:08:04.946ZBirgitta Abimbola Heikkahttp://www.authors.com/profile/BirgittaAbimbolaHeikka
<p>Good poem. Seems a little sad. The first line of the second stanza is a little confusing. After writing that darkness quickly surrounds her, you said "for all that's left is smoke." I'm not sure that second sentence belongs in that line. Also the 4th stanza, last line "she's abut," is that a slang for something? Good but sad poem.</p>
<p>Good poem. Seems a little sad. The first line of the second stanza is a little confusing. After writing that darkness quickly surrounds her, you said "for all that's left is smoke." I'm not sure that second sentence belongs in that line. Also the 4th stanza, last line "she's abut," is that a slang for something? Good but sad poem.</p>