Absolute Betrayal - Chapter 3 - Authors.com2024-03-29T10:28:01Zhttp://www.authors.com/forum/topics/absolute-betrayal-chapter-3?groupUrl=fiction&feed=yes&xn_auth=noParagraph two doesn't inform…tag:www.authors.com,2014-08-16:3798404:Comment:1860472014-08-16T12:48:30.100ZRobert L. Allenhttp://www.authors.com/profile/RobertAllen
<p>Paragraph two doesn't inform me what Bernice has gone through.</p>
<p>(But to go through an experience like Bernice did was not imaginable to me.) Perhaps place this sentence on it's own line, thus making it more powerful. </p>
<p>I was a bit lost.</p>
<p>Try to look for Constructive Criticism, not complements. I agree somewhat with Cleveland. Perhaps give more detail. I can't believe Chapter 3 is one page long or is it. It caught my interest...Thank you.</p>
<p>One more thing, if you are…</p>
<p>Paragraph two doesn't inform me what Bernice has gone through.</p>
<p>(But to go through an experience like Bernice did was not imaginable to me.) Perhaps place this sentence on it's own line, thus making it more powerful. </p>
<p>I was a bit lost.</p>
<p>Try to look for Constructive Criticism, not complements. I agree somewhat with Cleveland. Perhaps give more detail. I can't believe Chapter 3 is one page long or is it. It caught my interest...Thank you.</p>
<p>One more thing, if you are thinking about getting published, the publishers are hard core. They don't have time for comments. Thus I would think you are looking for what needs fixing. You have to become a turtle.</p> Thanks so much John! I appre…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-13:3798404:Comment:1415232012-07-13T22:10:02.574ZAndrea Phillipshttp://www.authors.com/profile/AndreaPhillips
<p>Thanks so much John! I appreciate the feedback. I am really enjoying churning out my first novel and to receive such a nice compliment is just the cherry on top!!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Andrea</p>
<p>Thanks so much John! I appreciate the feedback. I am really enjoying churning out my first novel and to receive such a nice compliment is just the cherry on top!!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Andrea</p> I like your characters. They…tag:www.authors.com,2012-07-13:3798404:Comment:1415692012-07-13T20:36:57.686ZJohn Brantinghamhttp://www.authors.com/profile/JohnBrantingham
<p>I like your characters. They have good relatable problems, and I like the relationships.</p>
<p>I like your characters. They have good relatable problems, and I like the relationships.</p> On one part of the excerpt th…tag:www.authors.com,2012-06-24:3798404:Comment:1385262012-06-24T11:01:01.090ZCleveland W. Gibsonhttp://www.authors.com/profile/ClevelandWGibson
<p>On one part of the excerpt the plot-points and on the other the back story.</p>
<p>Only two lines in and the reader has been given a lot of back story.</p>
<p>Ask does it push the story forward, the story involving Bernice?</p>
<p>So far the reader know Bernice has put away photos. </p>
<p>On one part of the excerpt the plot-points and on the other the back story.</p>
<p>Only two lines in and the reader has been given a lot of back story.</p>
<p>Ask does it push the story forward, the story involving Bernice?</p>
<p>So far the reader know Bernice has put away photos. </p>